By this Author: vagabondvoyager

Vietnam started, and now ends, with a bowl of pho - quite fitting for our trip, as you can say that we've come pho circle in our journey through one of Southeast Asia's gems. There's something quite comforting about eating a bowl of Vietnamese noodle soup, though it's a seemingly contradictory activity to undertake in such a steamy, sweltering country. Still, that didn't stop us from chowing down on the stuff at least once, and up to two or three times per day. It always seemed to be a relaxing start to the morning, before venturing out into the chaotic streets.

We had one last night in Hanoi before flying home, and it wasn't something we were overly looking forward to - after three nights in HCMC and a couple of days previously in Hanoi, we were no longer interested in the noise and crowds of larger Vietnamese cities. The extreme sensory overload that was so exciting at first, had now exceeded our limits - it's especially bad in Hanoi's old quarter, with streets so narrow that two minibuses struggle to fit side-by-side. Yet somehow, someway ... a half-dozen cars and three dozen scooters manage to squeeze alongside those minibuses!

After arriving back in Hanoi, it didn't take us long to to start pining over touristy Hoi An - we miss having a calm and quiet place to stroll, we miss Disney-Nam! To deal with the hectic capital, we sought solace the only way we knew how - by stuffing our faces! Back to King Roti for not one, not two, but three coffee buns! After that was one of Hanoi's many coffee shops for another caffeine and condensed milk fix! Unfortunately, neither quite matched our previous experiences - the coffee buns had cooled off just a little too much, and the drinks at Haka Coffee weren't strong enough - but still, they made us feel just a little bit better about being back amongst Hanoi's crowds.

Things started to look up as the sun went down - it turns out that on Sundays, parts of Hanoi's Old Town turn into pedestrian zones complete with trinket markets, making for a surprisingly civilized spot for strolling. We followed that up with a solid dinner at a Gia Ngu, a calm, relaxing, and yes, somewhat touristy experience - being our last night in Asia, we cared more about the restaurant's ambiance than its authenticity. After that, we only had one final order of business to make our evening complete, and to take our trip full circle - that was to have one final coconut coffee at Cong Caphe!

We'd been suffering from withdrawal since our last one five days ago, like crack addicts searching for the next fix - but were denied!!! Our remaining Vietnamese cash was all but gone, and it turned out that Cong Caphe doesn't take credit cards or USD - so we were left wanting tonight ... we consoled ourselves the next morning at breakfast, with another bowl of pho. And after the long, sad drive to the airport - we had one more bowl of pho, while waiting for the flight to depart. Our Asian trip has finally come to an end, in the most fitting way possible - pho circle ...

Cute Little Fatties ...

Almost 4 km Long ...

No Thanks ...

Secret to the Buddhas' Youthful Appearances ...

Spring Roll Making

Snack Time ...

Disappointing ...

Gia Ngu ...

Coconut Beef Curry ...

Lemongrass Pork Ribs ...

Beatififul Broth ...

Freebie ...

Beef Rice Rolls ...

Obligatory Bowl of Breakfast Pho

Plain, But Delicious ...

A Shame ...

A Welcome Sight ...

Small, But Packs a Punch ...

Perfectly-Cooked ...

Decent Bowl of Pho ...

Bad Banh Mi ...

Good Fortune Thanks to VST ...

Sushi ...

Vera's Burger Shack ...

Fried Chicken Sandwich ...

For nearly two weeks, Vietnam has been trying to deliver me a message, one of such profundity, that it is rivaled only by the depth of the Vietnamese culinary repertoire. I paid no attention to the early murmurs that started in HCMC, but they didn't stop, growing louder and louder as the days passed, until they could no longer be ignored. Vietnam's pleas had been muffled for so long, that they finally erupted into a cacophony on par with HCMC's chaotic traffic, shattering the peace and tranquility of Halong Bay, resonating between the iconic limestone pillars dotting the serene waters.

"Dude ... your ass be gettin' fat, stop eating so much of our food!!!"

Vietnam served notice today, its declaration conveyed with such force, that the button on my shorts burst, skipping across Halong Bay like a skillfully-tossed skipping stone delivered with a deft flick of the wrist. It is said that the Vietnamese manage to stay so skinny not in spite of, but because of, the large volumes of food ingested throughout the day. There is some logic in this, as it's obvious that the Vietnamese are constantly snacking on something, maintaining an elevated metabolism. Vietnamese food is also quite light, rarely loaded with protein, comprised mostly of fresh vegetables, served on a foundation of rice or rice-based starches.

Of course, the Vietnamese don't normally eat like we did here - starting the day with an all-you-can-eat gorge fest, stuffing ourselves for hours at a time on food tours, and still managing to fit in snacks and the regular meals. Imagine how badly this could have turned out had we been in a different country that served up heavier cuisine? Luckily for me, the weight gain was only on the order of a couple of pounds, but it could have been far worse had this been in a destination like Sicily. The button wouldn't have simply shorn off, the entire pair of shorts would've exploded like a salad roll overstuffed with pork!

There are a few reasons for such overindulgence in Vietnam - the main one is the typical holiday mentality of "We're on vacation, so will eat and drink whatever we like!" However, there are some other contributing factors somewhat unique to Vietnam - being so hot, humid, and crowded, a stroll to work off a large meal was rare, since we never got very far before wanting to retreat to the calm and cool of our hotel room. It simply isn't a relaxing or enjoyable activity in Vietnam, so we hardly burned off any calories before retiring for the evening. Perhaps the most nefarious negative influence on our waistlines was Vietnamese coffee - what makes it so rich and tasty? The usage of condensed milk is a huge factor in the pleasure of the drink, adding not only flavour and body, but also excessive and empty calories. The average Vietnamese coffee has probably 1-2 tablespoons of condensed milk, which contains 100-120 calories! It's the coffee equivalent of dark matter - sweet, milky goodness that is so dense with taste, its gravitational pull is strong enough to suck you in like a black hole!

Our mornings invariably started with at least one, usually two, and sometimes three Vietnamese coffees - do the math, and you'll quickly see where the button on my shorts disappeared to! But it didn't end there - there was always another iced coffee or two during the day and evening, and even worse, the occasional coconut coffee. That delicious, rich and creamy coconut slush? It's made with coconut milk, which packs a robust 550 calories per cup. Let's say that a coconut coffee has a half cup of coconut milk and a tablespoon of condensed milk - conservatively, there's 300-350 calories in that thing But hey, we're on vacation, so it's time to indulge!

Fortunately, that button burst just a few days before the end of the trip, so the shorts were no longer required. My initial thought was that this wasn't the end of the world - since we would be stuck on a touristy cruise in Halong, there would be little incentive to keep eating, as the food would surely be mediocre. There would be no more weight gain! But then ... it turned out that the food was pretty tasty - stuck on a boat with nothing to do, other than lounge on the upper deck with beer and cocktails, and an excellent chef on board? What could possibly go wrong with our waistlines?!?!!!

While there are a few caves and beaches to visit in Halong Bay, it's really about enjoying the vistas. The little limestone islets dotting the bay are perhaps Vietnam's most iconic sight, making Halong one of its most popular tourist destinations. It really is as beautiful as the photos would suggest, but it wasn't quite as impressive as expected - the problem was that we had come from Sapa, which wound up being the most pleasant surprise of the trip. Perhaps the bar was set too high by our two days of hiking through the rice terraces, or perhaps our Halong visit was far too rushed - whatever the case, we departed Halong feeling like we had only come here to cross off another spot from the tourist bucket list.

Due to its popularity, Halong's attractions are understandably overrun with visitors, and its waters are dotted with far too many cruise boats. For those reasons, and because the kayak tour might cause us to miss out on sunset photo ops, we skipped it altogether, and hunkered down on the top deck with a few drinks. Only a handful of other guests decided to do the same, so things became eerily quiet our passengers, and those on all the other boats, departed on their kayaks.

It was then that our perceptions of Halong quickly changed - now that we could enjoy the views in glorious tranquility, we began to see what all the fuss was about. Halong is filled with tourists for a reason - there are very few places in the world that are as ethereal as this ...

Limestone Pillars of Halong Bay

View From the Top of Titop Island

Pier at Hang Sung Sot ...

Home In Halong ...

Not Quite Sunset at Halong ...

Halong Bay At Dawn ...

Lights on Halong Bay

Our Boat, The Flamingo

Tai Chi at Dawn

Drive Up Service ...

Titop Island

Greasy Pigs ...

The Smell of Ko Phi Phi ...

Foot Fungus ...

Those Shirts Seemed Tighter After the Cruise ...

Cruising Back to the Mainland

Famous Phallic Formation ...

Turtle Rock ...

Lizard Rock

Penguin Rock ...

Dangling Legs Rock ...

Busy Port ...

Like Cattle ...

Obligatory Surveys ...

Surprisingly-Good Food ...

Fresh Salad Roll ...

Green Mango Salad w/ Shrimp

Fried Basa w/ Passion Fruit Sauce ...

Asian Pear, Watermelon, and a Smooth Creme Caramel

Stiff Cocktails During Happy Hour ...

Dinner Started w/ Pumpkin Soup ...

Lotus Salad

Steamed Shrimp

Braised Chicken w/ Vegetables and Rice ...

Creme Brulee w/ Caramelized Pineapple

Simple Breakfast ...

Great Omelet ...

Decent Bowl of Soup ...

Squid Cake Fritter ...

Another Fruit Platter ...

An exhausting night train in, and an exhausting night train out - very few tourist sites are worth such fatigue and effort, but the incredible rice terraces of Sapa certainly were. One of the best decisions we made in Vietnam was to squeeze in Sapa, even though we knew we would be wrecked by the journey. Our final week in Vietnam looked like this: <ul><li>Wake up early in Hanoi, check out of the hotel, tour the hot, humid, and chaotic city, before the 22:00 night train. </li><li>Sleep maybe an hour or two on the stuffy, bumpy train to Sapa, on beds that are 6" too short.</li><li>Roll into Lao Cai at 6:00 AM, ride an hour in a cramped minibus to Sapa, have breakfast, hike all day, before finally being able to check into the hotel for a shower and some rest. At least we were able to have a decent sleep in a decent bed!</li><li>Up early, hike all day again, back to the hotel for a shower, then another cramped, bumpy hour back Lao Cai, and on to Hanoi on another stuffy, bumpy, sleepless, night train. </li><li>Arrive in Hanoi at 5:30, grab a shower and breakfast, then hop an another cramped minibus for the 4.5 hour ride to Halong Bay.</li><li>Spend the night on a boat in Halong Bay, wake up at dawn for some activities, lunch, then back on the cramped minibus for the 4.5 hour ride back to Hanoi.</li></ul>Is this really a vacation???!!?

While we anticipated that this would be a brutal stretch of travel, it turned out even more difficult than expected, when we averaged under four hours of sleep a night, over a five-night period. But our one consolation would be the fact that Sapa is several degrees cooler than Hanoi, with daily highs in the mid to high teens. Our hikes around Sapa would be easy strolls through the hills, in cool, relaxing temperatures ... until there was a heat wave!

Our bodies had grown fat and lazy from the decadent dining habits we had adopted in Asia. We simply were not prepared for five to six hours of hiking each day, under the scorching sun, with temperatures pushing 33 or 34 C, and what felt like 90% humidity. The easy hikes we expected turned out to be fairly strenuous in certain portions, with terrain ranging from gravel, to rock, to mud.

But still - it was worth every second of pain, to be able to see and experience Sapa, even though it wasn't the prime season for viewing the rice terraces. Our guide Quang advised us that the best time is actually the rice growing season, when the terraces are flooded with water, resulting in a far more beautiful and varied colour palette. It's hard to imagine how spectacular Sapa is during the growing season, because what we saw on our short two-day visit was, at times, mind-blowing.

Despite the haze that hung over the region for much of our stay, the vistas were still incredible. Whenever we were exhausted, our bodies dehydrated - we only had to look up and around us, and smiles crept across our parched lips. It wasn't easy getting to Sapa, and the effort expended our hikes was definitely considerable - but in the end, the experience was unforgettable, and completely worth it, to be able to cross off an item that should be on every bucket list. The rice terraces of Sapa ... it's the stuff of dreams ...

Glorious Sapa ...

View From the Sapa Panorama Hotel

Another Pretty Hill Tribe Village

Panoramic Sapa

Friendly Water Buffalo ...

Local Flower Garden ...

Bridge to Infinity

Strange ...

Refreshing Waterfall ...

Wish We Had Swimsuits ...

Just For Tourists ...

Dodgy But Pretty ...

Prime Spot For a Hostel ...

Too Bad ...

Cute Bridge

Another Bridge, Another Photo Op

Bird's-Eye View Over Sapa

A Side Benefit ...

Glad We Didn't Cross That Bridge ...

Cute Piglet Family

Almost There ...

Cute Black Hmong Guides ...

Me and My Entourage ...

The Final Bridge ...

Last Village of the Day

Traditional Hmong House in Cat Cat Village ...

Grubs ...

Sapa's Next Top Supermodel ...

Even in the Villages of Northern Vietnam ...

Idiot Tourist ...

Watchful Mother ...

Simple or Touristy ...

Pork Or Vegetable ...

Bland Western-Style Vegetable Soup ...

30 Seconds Later ...

Hoping For Something Better ...

Exotic Tiramisu ...

World's Biggest Espresso Maker ...

Another Simple Lunch ...

Hmong Handicraft ...

Less Pasty This Time ...

Fried Instant Noodles ...

Vietnam Standard Time, or VST for short, is defined as UTC + 7. However, it's not always about time zones when used in reference to developing nations. Quite often, it's a joke - India is a prime example, where people jokingly define Indian Standard Time as how Indians are always late for everything! So Vietnam would surely be the same, right? You would never expect for anything to be on time in a country like Vietnam, where its discount air carrier is a comedy of errors.

Check online, and there are nothing but negative reviews of VietJet, where delays of 5-6 hours are not uncommon, unacceptable given the fact that flights within Vietnam are never more than a couple of hours. The staff occasionally even jokingly explain that the delays are due to the fact that the airline has only one airplane servicing the entire nation! But a funny thing happened to us in Vietnam, as we quickly realized that VST doesn't exist in its gag form - shockingly, things are almost always ON TIME HERE!!!

Every Vietnamese flight we have taken has not departed on time, but has left early! All of our pre-arranged airport pickups have actually been late, even though they were there at the appointed time - they were late only because our flights typically arrived at least 15 minutes early! Every tour, every transfer, has also been on schedule. Our whole perception of Vietnamese tardiness was completely shattered!

This isn't always good, however, as we learned in Hanoi when our city tour arrived 30 minutes early - we were instructed to check out and finish breakfast before 8:30, but hurriedly made our way to the front desk when we received a call, advising that our tour guide was waiting in the lobby. We explained the situation and asked if we could quickly have some breakfast, to which he responded with a simple gesture of his arm and "You could, but that bus full of other tourists has already been waiting for a while ..."

The looks of disapproval were numerous as we made our way to the back of the bus, doing the tour member walk of shame. But what to do? Flights arriving early are great, but tours? Not so much! So while VST turned out to be false, we learned of a different and annoying Vietnamese quirk - that the whole tourist economy seems to be built on referrals and sub-contracting, with no ultimate accountability for anything. Though we had opted for the convenience of a packaged tour for our last week in Vietnam, and had booked with a top-ranked company in Hanoi, it really didn't offer the full convenience that packages like this normally would.

Our tour was little more than a collection of several small tours and transfers, resulting in a lack of continuity, and the feeling that you never really knew exact details of what was going to happen. Given the business model, we easily understood how the tour could have arrived 30 minutes early. It became increasingly funny as the tour unfolded, and we came across more and more tourists that seemed to be on a similar "organized" tour, but like us, none of them really knew what the itinerary was. Is dinner included at the hotel? Do we eat at the station before the night train? What time is the pickup?

Three different parties would always have three different answers, and almost always, none of them would turn out to be right! The good thing about our tour company, Vietnam Awesome Travel (with a name like that, they must be great!) - was that the owner was always responsive by email, though the answers were sometimes nonchalant, as was the case when we pointed out the early tour pickup. I could almost hear him shrugging his shoulders through email, as he formulated a response that neither offered a solution nor acknowledged any real problem.

We learned to roll with it, as it seemed to be part of an overall attitude in Northern Vietnam - not that it's a bad thing, but it seems that they learned not to take any of these hiccups too seriously. Because really, what would that accomplish? As a tourist, overreacting to these things would only ruin the holiday, and not improve the situation. The only approach is to simply have faith that things will eventually sort themselves out - we always got where we needed to go, when we needed to be there, and that's all that mattered.

Even though the package was something less-than-perfect, we wouldn't hesitate to use the same company - it seems that all the operators are the same, and having such a responsive owner was great, especially when I had stupidly thrown away our return train voucher. Also, the one part of our tour that Vietnam Awesome Travel actually had direct control over was fantastic, a food tour through Hanoi's Old Quarter. We have had wonderful luck with all the food tours, sampling not only the best cuisine, but also having the best guides.

Rocky was quite the character and tour guide, and it was quite amusing watching him strut along the streets of Hanoi in his Hawaiian shirt, looking a bit like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. He certainly did a great job of preserving our lives, as Hanoi's traffic seemed far more chaotic than HCMC. It was comical every time we had to brave the traffic, and Rocky would raise his hand, gather up the group, and sternly warn us "We are crossing the street ..."

Sensing how much everybody was enjoying the food, tour, and camaraderie, I have a feeling that Rocky decided to extend the tour, allowing us to sample even more excellent food. We ended up getting back to the hotel much later than expected, which wasn't great for our early morning departure. But we didn't complain, as this was one time where we were more than happy to synchronize our clocks to VST ...

Beautiful Ceramic Lanterns

Monument to the Martyrs ...

Vietnamese Wedding ...

Tran Quoc Pagoda Looming in the Background

Buddha's Hand ...

Ho Chi Minh Complex

Beautiful Lacquer Ware ...

Quan Thanh Temple

Golden Tortoise

Bat Trang ...

Artisans of Bat Trang

Tanuki!!! ...

Thang Long Water Puppet Show ...

Nothing Better Than Fried Rice For Breaky ...

Meh ...

Bun Cha at New Day ...

Frog Stewed w/ Ginger and Onion ...

A Welcome Sight ...

Fried Pork Rice Rolls ...

Banh Cuon ...

Obligatory Banh Xeo on a Vietnamese Food Tour ...

Fish and Shrimp On a Hot Plate ...

Banh Mi ...

King Roti ...

Corrupting the Tour Group ...

The Neverending Food Tour ...

Finally, Breakfast ...

Coconut Bun ...

Blue Butterfly ...

Papaya Salad, Fragrant w/ Lemongrass

Stir-Fried Chicken and Vegetables

Stir-Fried Mixed Vegetables

Wok-Fried Fish

Rushed Coconut Coffee ...

Bun Cha Ta ...

There may not be a more picturesque location in Vietnam than Hoi An's Old Town - too bad it doesn't really feel like Vietnam! Good or bad, Hoi An's Old Town feels extremely foreign compared to our previous stops - it seems almost too perfect, too manufactured, to be the Vietnam we've come to know. If the World Showcase at Disney's Epcot Center had a Vietnamese pavilion, it would probably look and feel just like Hoi An. In fact, strolling around the riverfront, with its intricate lanterns beautifully lit up, evokes images of Disney's Electrical Parade. Hoi An is Disneyfied Vietnam - even though we never came across Minh Mouse, Donald Duc, or Nguyen the Pooh, it still should be called Disney-Nam!

Don't get me wrong, because there are some fantastic aspects of the Old Town - this is the first time we've strolled anywhere in Vietnam without fear of being run over by hordes of scooters, and the air was, dare I say - almost fresh and unpolluted? The buildings have been beautifully restored and converted into some of the most atmospheric bars, cafes, and shops you'll find in Vietnam, or anywhere else in the world, for that matter. This isn't the place to find Vietnam at its ramshackle, dingy, spartan, and authentic best - but is that really a bad thing?

Our feelings towards Hoi An are somewhat ambivalent because seemingly, for everything good here, there is something bad. Though we've seen some very touristy spots in Vietnam, it seems to be amplified tenfold here - so while may be comfortable with amenities, it's also incredibly annoying to try and enjoy them. The restaurant touts and vendors are by far the most aggressive and annoying in Vietnam, since there doesn't seem to be too many locals partaking in the Old Town's festive atmosphere. At times, what should be a relaxing stroll ends up feeling like you are running a gauntlet of people desperate to make a tourist buck.

Take Vy's Market, for example - it's set up like an Asian street food market, only sanitized for the tourist hordes. Though a bit gimmicky, it instantly drew us in with its sights, sounds, and delicious smells - the hostess smiled and asked if we'd like a table, but waved us in when we said we just wanted to take a look around. But then we were practically accosted by another employee mere seconds later, when her response to us looking around wasn't quite as pleasant, telling us we couldn't look around, attempting to pressure us into taking a table. What's the point of setting up a restaurant as a street market, then not allow people to stroll around and admire the food? No thanks!

Hoi An is known as being one of Vietnam's culinary capitals, but we've found it to be a mixed bag, with experiences on opposite ends of the spectrum. Without fail, the local experiences have been superb, allowing us to sample some truly delightful cuisine. Unfortunately, equally without fail, the touristy takes on "authentic" Vietnamese food have been disappointing - case in point, a culinary tour that we did with The Last Great Taste of Hoi An. The tour was actually fantastic overall, leaving our bellies stuffed with tasty food, and our minds filled with interesting facts about Vietnamese cuisine.

The tour started out and ended well, as we began the day sampling all manner of unforgettable street food at the local market, and finished with a stop at a lovely restored traditional townhouse, trying out even more excellent food. But we quickly learned that Hoi An has two classes of restaurants, those for locals and those for tourists, at the halfway point of the tour, stopping at Dau Viet. Its relatively-upscale and comfortable interior suggested that it catered to the foreign demographic, which was immediately obvious with the food - it's not that it wasn't good, it's just that we knew it would've been better at a more local establishment. It's common in Vietnam, perhaps more so in Hoi An, for people in the tourist industry to steer you towards places they think you would want to go, not where they would actually eat. These establishments usually end up being comfortable and pretty, but leave you wanting a better, more authentic meal. Because of this, we had one of our most disappointing meals of the trip at Thuan Y, despite its prime location overlooking the river. Between the uneven quality of the food and some truly bizarre service, it was an unforgettable dinner, but for all the wrong reasons.

Travel experiences don't always live up to the expectations - sometimes, the only solution for this problem is simply to embrace it. We didn't have much success finding good authentic food on our own - granted, we were here for only two nights, so a longer stay might have yielded different results - so for our last afternoon and evening, we completely abandoned the search for authenticity and embraced the quest for all foods inauthentically Vietnamese! French-style mousse cake influenced by Vietnamese tropical fruit flavours? Iced cappuccinos? Fusion pork belly sliders made with Asian-style steamed buns? Yes, to all of the above! Hoi An is reminiscent of countless backpacker havens around the world that have hit that critical juncture, where so many first-world amenities are available, that the local culture is in danger of being entirely displaced. Sometimes a perfect-balance is struck, making for an incredible travel experience. But with Hoi An, particularly the Old Town, I wonder - has it already crossed the point of no return?

Bridge to An Hoi Peninsula ...

Dragon Lantern

Silk Tailors of Hoi An ...

Japanese Bridge

Best Dollar We Spent in Vietnam ...

Pagoda at Thuy Son

Big on Buddha ...

Unique Buddhist Imagery ...

Poor Buddha Getting His Nipples Pinched ...

Marble Mountains ...

Regular Flooding ...

Beautifully-Decorated Old Town

GAM Museum ...

Assembly Hall of Fujian Chinese

Dancing Dragon

Cherry Blossom Cafe ...

Phi Banh Mi ...

Phi Banh Mi's Mascot - Danny the Iguana!

Banh Mi Queen ...

Espresso Station ...

Mochi Madness ...

Thuan Y ...

Fish Grilled in Banana Leaf ...

Calamari w/ Chili and Lemon Grass ...

Chuoi Chien ...

Noodle Heaven ...

Chickens Suffering From Severe Whiplash

Bitter Melon ...

Spam Baguette ...

Dau Hu ...

Busy Market Street

Darth Vader Loses ...

Fresh As Can Be ..

Xi Ma ...

Banh Mi Again ...

Getting Full ...

A First ...

Dau Viet ...

Goi Xoai Xanh ...

Banh Bao ...

Vietnamese Randomness ...

Bo Kho ...

Goi Cuon ...

Seasonal Fruit ...

Salty Preserved Lemon Drink ...

Remnants of the War ...

Cargo Club ...

Excellent Iced Cappuccino

Incredible Sliders at Nu Eatery ...

Chili Lime Shrimp ...

Pulled Pork ...

Sesame Chicken ...

Incredible Lemongrass Ice Cream ...